To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn
by Dixie Darlin
Summary: King Candy orders his two inept pastry cops, Wynnchel and Duncan, to retrieve the wild fire-breathing uni-candy-corn known as Skittles so that he may have a royal steed to ride around on. Things, of course, go wrong.
1. Orders from the King

_Just a cutesy mostly plotless ficlet idea. Kind of a look inside the daily goings-on around King Candy's castle and what it was like to have him be the boss. And Skittles the uni-candy-corn is a deleted character from the scene "The Maize Maze", I do not own him or anyone else in this!_

_I imagine this takes place not too many months after King Candy takes over Sugar Rush._

* * *

**To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn**

King Candy fervently paced back and forth in his salmon throne room, his hands clasped behind his back and staring down at the floor and looking as if deep in thought. Sour Bill stood at a short distance away, appearing bored (as usual) and was trying not to nod off to sleep in fear of being reprimanded by his majesty. The two perked up upon hearing the castle's entry doors open, Sour Bill rising to attention and King Candy crossing his arms in front of him and drumming his fingers along one elbow to signify his ever-growing impatience.

"It'sth about time you two showed up!" the annoyed king exclaimed as his two pastry-themed policemen, Wynnchel and Duncan made their way to where he was standing in front of his throne. He adjusted his bow tie and forcefully smiled at them. "I _knead_ you to do something for me, hoohoo!"

He giggled at his own bad pun while the two cops exchanged confused glances. Sour Bill lowered his rotund head and shook it slowly, thinking about how he'd rather be anywhere than here in this room right about now. King Candy wiped a tear from his eye and then noticed that he was the only one laughing.

"You know, knead...need," he tried to explain as his audience continued to stare at him stupidly. "It's a pun...you're made of bread...kind of...and you knead bread dough and I _need_ you to..." He cut himself off, all good humor gone now, and proclaimed, "Never mind!", throwing his arms up in exasperation. He tugged at his purple coat lapels and stated, "I have an misthon...missthion..."

He struggled with saying the word without lisping and he frustratingly snapped his fingers at Sour Bill, who immediately came closer like a beckoned dog. "Thour Bill, what'sth the word I'm trying to sthay?"

"Mission," was the blunt answer.

The king giggled a bit and patted the sour candyball on his head (much to the NPC's annoyance) and said, "Yesth, thank you!"

He stepped up closer to the two officers, who were both still staring at him cluelessly through their matching aviator shades, and he looked upwards at them, putting his hands back behind his back. "I have noticthed while taking my evening drive around the kingdom that we have what isth called a uni-candy-corn roaming wildly. It'sth pink with a black mane and tail and hasth a piece of candy corn for a horn."

Wynnchel raised his hand as if asking permission to speak. King Candy's face deflated into an annoyed expression and he said flatly, "Yesth, Wynnchel?".

The eclair-based policeman lowered his arm. "Are you talking about Skittles, sir?"

The short-statured monarch appeared stupefied for a few seconds then recollected himself, giggling nervously and waggling his fingers. "Yesth, that'sth who I'm talking about! Of coursthe! Hoohoo!" He cleared his throat. "I want him."

Duncan started to raise his hand like Wynnchel had done earlier but King Candy interrupted him. "Justth tell me what you want!" he exclaimed impatiently, jumping up off the floor a couple inches as he screamed. "You don't have to do that!"

The literal donut cop shrunk back upon getting yelled at and quickly spat out, "But your candiness, that monster breathes _fire!"_

King Candy lowered his eyes into a glare. "Isth that an exthcuse I smell?" He stepped forward to get closer to his two security officers. "Becausthe if it isth...I'll throw you in my Fungeon and let you go..." He paused for dramatic effect before saying, "STALE!"

The pastry duo gasped in horror and backed away from their ruler, their hands going to what would have been their cheeks if they'd had normal facial features.

"Oh no, sire!" Wynnchel proclaimed, forgetting his place. "We don't want to go stale!"

Duncan piped up, "Yeah we'll get all dry and hard and flake off crumbs and-"

"ENOUGH!" King Candy shouted, throwing his arms out to the sides of him in a hurried gesture, his teeth visually bared as he did so.

The two donuts immediately silenced themselves, biting at their lips in apprehension. The king regained his posture and he cleared his throat, then smiled gently and said in a quieter voice, "Wynnchel. Duncan. I am the king, therefore you do what I sthay. Isth that correct?"

The duo nodded obediently.

King Candy smiled warmly at this. "Good. Now that we're on the sthame page..." He went from smiling to frowning in two seconds flat and started screaming, "FIND ME THAT UNI-CANDY-CORN AND BRING HIM HERE!"

Without having to ask twice, the two officers span around and high-tailed it out of the castle to do their king's bidding. King Candy huffed and readjusted his crown on his head and then tugged his jacket on better. Sour Bill, who had wisely stayed silent throughout this episode, scuttled up to him and said,

"Mmm, sir? May I ask why you want Skittles for a pet exactly?"

King Candy chuckled and clasped his hands in front of him. "To ride him! What kind of king doesthn't have a royal stheteed...theed..." He grew annoyed and not being able to say "steed" and instead said, "Pony."

* * *

_I'm so used to writing for Turbo, this was really weird writing him in King Candy form...hope I did okay with him!_ _Not sure how long this thing is gonna last, this was just a random idea I had in my head lol_

_Sorry this was short! Not sure how long the other chapters will be...  
_


	2. First Sighting

_FYI Bear Claws donuts look kinda like four donut sticks glued together. They're in the movie as part of the special forces that are with King Candy, Wynnchel and Duncan when they catch Ralph and Vanellope at the go-kart bakery. So no, I didn't make them up :) The middle two sticks would be the legs and the outer sticks would be the arms with the facial features up at the top center. They'll be showing up at some point in this._

* * *

**To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn**

"Do you think he meant what he said about letting us go-" Duncan gulped before saying the next word. "_Stale_?"

Wynchell did not look at his partner, the two of them parked side by side on their motorcycles as they surveyed their current location atop a milk chocolate mesa, both of them looking through binoculars.

"I don't know, Dunc," the eclair stated solemnly as he focused on his mission in searching out the pink monster known as Skittles. "But I'm not willing to find out if he'll keep his word."

The sound of distant braying prevented them from having anymore conversation regarding the king. Wynnchel narrowed his eyes and haphazardly moved around in his bike's seat to try and locate where the noise had originated. Duncan laughed hard and slapped Wynnchel's arm, nearly making him topple over.

"There he is!" he declared, pointing one hand out towards the Licorice Fields.

Wynnchel slapped Duncan on the back of his head for having almost made him fall earlier then looked through his binoculars in the direction that the donut had been pointing in. Lo and behold, the sight of the bubblegum pink equine with a candy corn horn was contentedly grazing on stalks of licorice, his long black mane and tail flowing in the breeze like two dancing ribbons.

The two officers put their binoculars away and then fixed their shades back over their eyes, turning to look at each other for a moment with serious looks on their faces and said,

"Let's jelly roll!"

* * *

The Licorice Fields were a short drive away from where the chocolate mesas were located so it didn't take long for the cops to reach it. They parked their bikes far enough away to where their quarry wouldn't be able to hear the engines but not_ too_ far away to where they'd have to walk far. Pastry people are very heavy in nature so it takes a lot of energy for them to do any strenuous activity.

The duo crawled towards their target, using their tiny arms and legs to maneuver themselves through the thick crimson licorice grass. Skittles appeared to sense something was behind him and he turned his head, smoke starting to come out of his large nostrils and his large circular eyes with ebony centers scanning the area for danger.

"Get down!" Wynnchel whispered harshly, pulling Duncan down beside him as they hid behind a small hill.

Skittles' ears went in every direction as he stood perfectly still, sniffing the air as he did so. At last, he determined there was no danger and went back to his meal. The two cops let out a small sigh of relief at having not been caught.

A piece of licorice grass started tickling Duncan's pink frosting nose and he twitched it, his mouth opening as he almost sneezed. Wynnchel panicked and reluctantly stuck his finger against his partner's nose to prevent the sneeze. Duncan relaxed and mouthed "thank you" and then-

"AHH-CHOO!"

The loud sneeze alerted the uni-candy-corn that he was not alone and he whinnied loudly before galloping away in the distance. Wynnchel face-palmed himself and then smacked Duncan across the face, eliciting a little cry of protest from him at getting mildly assaulted.

"You ding-dong! You scared him away!" Wynnchel cried as he struggled to get to his feet and started chasing after Skittles. Duncan clawed his hands into the licorice to help heave his large body up and tried to run after the eclair.

"Hey, come back here! Horse!" Wynnchel was shouting, trying to keep from tripping. "You horse, stop in the name of the law!"

Duncan was too out of breath to shout. Not to mention his stubby lugs got tangled up in the licorice so he fell flat on his face, wiggling a bit to try and get up. Wynnchel finally stopped running after having done it for a straight five minutes, wiping his forehead only to be horrified to see that some of his chocolate frosting had melted due to sweat.

He screamed from shock and tried to wipe the frosting back into his body. The uni-candy-corn was now long gone and Wynnchel knew there was no way they could chase him down now, if at all. He walked back to where Duncan had somehow managed to flip over onto his back and was having great difficulty getting back to his feet much like an overturned turtle.

Wynnchel rolled his eyes but he went over to his partner and bent over, a hard task for an eclair to do, and grabbed one of Duncan's skinny arms with one of his own and tried to pick him up. He grunted upon feeling all of the round donut's weight and he dropped him callously back into the licorice.

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Wynnchel apologized flatly, adjusting his shades where they had started slipping off his nose. "Let me try pushing you up."

He walked around to where he would be standing behind Duncan's head and he bent over again, groaning in pain as he did so, and grabbed a hold of the donut's head and tried to push him to no avail. He gave up and straightened out his aching body.

"It's no use, I can't get you up."

"You can't just leave me down here!" Duncan protested loudly, his legs and arms squirming wildly as he tried to move.

"Don't make me go get the CLAWS team."

Duncan cringed and shuddered upon hearing the name. "Please don't, they're kinda scary. You can't think of _anything_?"

The other put a hand underneath his mouth where his chin would be if he had one and stroked the area there, looking up into the cotton candy cloud dotted sky as he thought. Then he looked down and around him at all the licorice stalks swaying gently in the wind. He snapped his fingers.

"I have an idea. It's crazy, but it might work. Since you're already down on the ground, be useful and start pulling up the stalks of licorice around you and hand them up to me. I'm going to make a rope."

Duncan removed his shades and peered up at him with his tiny eyes that were not proportionate in the least with his large frame. "That sounds like a lot of work."

Wynnchel scowled and lifted a leg up as if to kick his friend, who winced in preparation, but he put his leg back down. "Trust me, I have my reasons for this. Hurry up, we're burning daylight here!"

"But...it's _always_ daylight here."

"Shut up."

* * *

**_TWO HOURS LATER_**

Duncan felt his nerves sing as he anticipated what Wynnchel was about to do next. After making the long licorice rope, the eclair had fashioned a lasso out of it and tied it around Duncan's body, a feat within itself. Next, he'd had to go get his motorcycle and tie the other end of the rope to the bike's bumper. Wynnchel sat in his seat and revved up his engine, calling out over his shoulder,

"You ready, Dunc!"

The donut gulped and squeaked, "I guess so."

Wynnchel slowly accelerated his engine to make the bike move forward a few inches, the licorice rope pulling taut against Duncan's body. Duncan feared the rope might cut him in half but it did no such thing. Miraculously, he felt himself being lifted up back onto his feet, the sky disappearing from his view and finally seeing the world the way it should be seen: upright.

"Woo-hoo!" he cheered, doing a little fist pump to the sky. "It worked!"

Wynnchel shut off his engine while Duncan removed the lasso from around him. "Yeah, took long enough," he commented as he took the rope back from his partner, looking down at his creation with a newfound interest. "You know, I just had an idea. What if we use this thing to catch Skittles in the same way we did to pull you up just now?"

Duncan looked elated at this plan. "Oooh, great plan!" he grinned for about two seconds before his face fell again. "But first we have to start looking for him..._again_."

"I hope King Candy realizes how much trouble we go through for him."

* * *

_PS I have a poll on my profile to vote for your favorite secondary Wreck-It Ralph character if anyone wants to vote on it :)_

_Thanks to everyone reviewing/faveing/following so far :)_


	3. Ring Around the Racers

**To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn**

It took a while but Skittles was finally spotted again, this time grazing on some miniature lollipops that grew close to the Sugar Rush Speedway starting line, right behind the candy boxes to be precise. Seeing as how the arcade was closed by this time, a Random Roster Race was about to get started and all the racers were lined up with their karts waiting for King Candy to announce the beginning of the race.

Skittles wasn't too bothered by the noises of the fans and the background music because he was used to hearing it. It was when things were very quiet that he was on his guard because he wasn't sure what to expect then. He raised his head up and looked around while chewing on his lollipops and then swallowed before lowering his head again and chomping more.

Duncan and Wynnchel were hiding several yards away, both on their motorcycles and with each of them holding a licorice rope. They had decided whoever caught Skittles first would then help the other one out. The plan was to lasso the hot-headed beast and then tie him to the motorcycles and drag him to the castle.

The two pastries could hear King Candy excitedly announce the race and telling everyone to start throwing their coins into the pot, with him being first of course. They couldn't wait to see the look on the king's face when they caught Skittles and get rewarded for a job well done!

Duncan giggled lightly in his seat. "His candiness might even let us stay in the castle in our own rooms if we do this right!"

"Yeah and maybe throw a party in our honor!" Wynnchel grinned, imagining everyone coming by to talk about how awesome they were at capturing Skittles. "I can just hear all the adoring fans now!"

_"Oh Duncan, you're so...round! And that hole in your middle is so becoming!"_

_"And Wynnchel, you're the most handsome, delicious looking eclair I've ever seen!"_

_King Candy would then approach them and wipe a tear from his eyes and say proudly, "Yesth! You two are my favorite people in all the kingdom! I am stho proud to be your ruler! I hereby declare thisth day a special holiday!"_

_Fireworks would burst all in the sky as the racers and other NPC's alike would shower them in different flavors of soda, cheering for their favorite security team..._

The two of them were so busy daydreaming about their day in the spotlight that they didn't notice that Skittles had spotted the two of them spying on him. The two cops were rudely snapped out of their shared fantasy and they were shocked to see the uni-candy-corn right in front of them and snorting smoke out of his nose, his eyes hugely dilated with anger and his teeth bared at them.

They both grinned nervously at the pink stallion before Wynnchel realized that this would be the perfect oppurtunity to seize him. He quickly threw his lasso over the now stunned Skittles' head and tightened the rope around his neck.

"Haha!" he laughed victoriously. "Gotcha now, ya big airhead!"

Duncan laughed as well but the humor between the two of them was short-lived because Skittles bolted his front legs into the air and brayed loudly, jerking backwards on the rope and throwing Wynnchel forward onto his bike. Duncan saw his partner panicking at having a wild beast fighting against him so he got off of his own bike and helped to tie the rope to the bike's handles in order to keep Skittles from jerking the rope out of Wynnchel's hands.

Skittles had about enough of this game that the two foolish cops were playing with him and he opened his mouth wide, flames bursting forth. Duncan shrieked and fell back against his own bike which promptly fell over. The equine then took off running, dragging a now terrified Wynnchel with him who was still on his motorcycle. Duncan rubbed his backside and clumsily tried to get his motorcycle upright and struggled to climb aboard.

The eclair grabbed onto his own bike's handles for dear life, his hat flying off his head and screaming at the top of his lungs. Skittles bolted forth through two of the candy box stands used for the NPC's to cheer for their respective racers. Wynnchel's eyes grew big behind his shades in fear. No! Not onto the track! King Candy would be most displeased at a race being disrupted!

The crazed horse did not know any better and ran straight into the line of racers as they were only halfway through putting their coins in the giant trophy. Candlehead screamed and tried to use Swizzle Malarkey as a human shield, who only pushed her out of his way so he could run for his life. The kids that were already at their karts screamed in horror as Skittles rampaged himself into the racetrack, now having grown frightened and confused at being in the middle of all this noise, blowing fire in every direction.

"What are you doing, you half-baked good!" Taffyta shrieked at Wynnchel as Skittles ran past her kart, still dragging the eclair and his motorcycle behind him. "You're _ruining_ our race!"

All the other kids were trying to protect their karts from getting potentially damaged by the out of control equine, who had started running in a circle around the entire group. Duncan finally showed up and began to give chase after his partner, trying to yell at him to converse but his words were falling on deaf ears. The marshmallow camera men, who were safely floating above the scene, were recording the whole thing and chuckling to themselves about how it looked like a messed up version of "ring around the rosie".

Rancis tried to back up but hit Adorabeezle's car by mistake. Candlehead was hiding underneath her own kart while Gloyd simply laughed his head off about the whole catastrophe. Skittles rammed into Citrusella's kart and tore off the back end, causing her to cry excessively.

King Candy was sputtering like crazy trying to think of something to say into the microphone to calm everyone down. Sour Bill was annoyed at getting drenched by slobber and his face was even glummer than it normally was, if that was possible.

"Everyone pleasthe...CALM DOWN!" he was pleading loudly, the microphone making a loud feedback noise as he yelled.

Skittles' ears went back as the sound had hurt his ears and he reared back on his hind legs and crazily headed for King Candy's popcorn box. Wynnchel and Duncan both had horrified looks on their faces, Duncan slamming on his brakes and staring in stupefication as Skittles rammed the king's box sideways. Wynnchel muttered an "oh no" under his breath and braced himself for impact.

The king let out a little scream and grabbed Sour Bill to clutch to his chest as his box went toppling sideways into the box next to his. The candy audience all cried in unison and tried to vacate their box before a collision could occur but only half of them made it out. Their box fell onto the one next to theirs and they _all_ ended up crashing down like dominoes.

Duncan winced as each box hit its neighbor, watching out of the corner of his eye as Skittles dragged Wynnchel off along the length of the track. At last, the licorice rope snapped in two after having been stretched out for so long, and the eclair went flying backwards off of his bike, landing roughly on the ground. The motorcycle crashed itself on its side into Swizzle Malarkey's kart and he started fuming and fussing about there now being a scratch on his kart.

"I just put a new coat of glazed sugar on it too!"

The little candy people coughed and cried to themselves, helping each other up, bruised but not broken. Jubileena and Torvald tried to comfort Citrusella, who was still bawling over her damaged kart. Taffyta was so mad that the race was interrupted that she bit her lollipop in half in _one bite_. Candlehead crawled out from underneath her kart and then starting crying because her candle had gone out at some point. Rancis and Adorabeezle were having a yelling match about their little fender bender caused accidentally by the peanut butter boy.

After Wynnchel got to his feet, he and Duncan gasped when they saw Sour Bill trying to pull King Candy out of the wreckage from the collapsed candy boxes. They rushed to his side, seeing immediately that he was scratched up in a few places, his bowtie was crooked, and his collar was collapsed. His normally spotless suit was very dirty now. His crown was even bent in one corner. The two of them bit their lips when the king lowered his eyes at them and stormed in front of them, the bells on his shoes jangling as he walked.

His eyes were twitching and his whole face was red, his teeth clenched and noticeably bared, his hands becoming like claws as he tried to keep from tearing into his two security officers. Sour Bill stayed a good distance behind, not wanting to get on the king's bad side, but he did give a disapproving glance to the two cops.

"You...you _fools_!" King Candy hissed at them, too mad to even yell at them or else he'd probably faint from the stress. "You..._destroyed..._our _race_._"_

He put emphasis on words he normally would have lisped through so that was an even bigger clue that he was mad. The king huffed and snapped his fingers for Sour Bill, not bothering to look away from the pastry duo.

"Make sure thisth track will be ready before morning," he cooly commanded his number one assistant.

Sour Bill muttered a quick "yes, sir" and scurried off to begin organizing the candy NPC's to calm down and work together to get the race prepared as soon as possible. Wynnchel and Duncan had their faces lowered down to the ground, the latter scuffing the ground with his foot. King Candy took a few deep breaths before removing his crown and angrily fixing the bent spot so that it would like normal, then placed it back on his head.

"You two...not only did you nearly give MY pony a heart attack and nearly kill the thing, but you desthtroyed thisth track in a mere five minutesth time." He spoke very quietly and as calmly as possible, yet his eyes were still glaring at them and he had his hands behind his back.

"Wh-what are you going to do, sir?" Duncan asked him fearfully.

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME!" the infuriated monarch screamed, so loud that he hovered off the ground while saying it. He got his feet back on the ground and he huffed a few times and tried to straighten his disarrayed jacket. "I will have to think of an appropriate punishment for you two. In the meantime..."

He motioned with one finger for them to bend down closer to his level, which they reluctantly did. He then cupped both hands around in his mouth and yelled, "GET ME THAT UNI-CANDY-CORN OR I'LL BEAT THE FILLING OUT OF YOU!"

Wynnchel and Duncan yelped with pain as his voice rang in their ears but they turned around and did as they were told, Wynnchel first having to have help pick up his motorcycle and then the duo took off once again.

King Candy watched them go and he tried to straighten up his bow tie, muttering to himself, "Thosthe two are more annoying than the twinsth _ever_ were."

"What was that, sir?"

Sour Bill's unexpected drone voice startled the king and he stared at the sour ball beside him in shock at first then smiled and giggled. "Oh nothing, nothing. Justth an old king'sth rambling."

He patted Sour Bill on the head before heading to his kart, which was thankfully undamaged during the chaos, rubbing his temples as he did so. "I need a helping of chocolate chip pancakesth with hot fudge and whipped cream on top. Yeah, that'll be turb-...err, good."

* * *

_I'm going out of town so I won't be able to update until Monday! Sorry :(_


	4. Who Let the Dogs Out?

**To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn**

The devil dogs were caged up in a pen constructed out of thick peppermint logs that came directly out of the Candy Cane Forest. Due to their cake-like bodies, they were too soft to try and bite through the bars so Duncan and Wynnchel never once had to worry about them trying to escape. When they were left alone, they would nap together under the shade of the over-sized cherry Lifesaver candy that served as a roof to their pen. The cops hated having to wake the snarling beasts up but they had come to the conclusion that they would need some help in tracking Skittles down.

Not to mention, they were tired of doing all the work themselves.

"All right, babies, let's rise and shine!" Wynnchel announced loudly as he rapped his baton against the peppermint bars.

The dogs immediately stirred, shaking their heads and throwing themselves against the pen's confines in a barking frenzy. Their soft cake noses pressed in between the bars and their crème tongues attempted to stretch out in order to lick their handlers. Hostess and Little Dee (short for Little Debbie), the females of the quartet, snapped a few times at each other as if they were bitter rivals. The boys, Pillsbury and Drake, started howling and prancing around waiting for their door to open.

Duncan had the leashes ready and tossed a couple to Wynnchel, who then instructed, "All right, I'll get Hostess and Drake and you grab the other two."

* * *

The first thing the cops did was take the dogs to Skittles' last known location: Sugar Rush Speedway's starting line. Sour Bill had rounded up the citizens and racers alike to piece the scenery back together and it looked as though they were doing a remarkable job. Most of the candy boxes were now erect and some of the minor damages had been repaired. Citrusella and Swizzle, whose karts had been damaged during the earlier pandemonium, were the only racers absent so that they could get their respective vehicles back in working order before the race.

Hostess caught a whiff of something first and grew excited, her tail-less back end wagging itself happily. Drake eventually secured the same smell in his own nose and became as enthusiastic as his female counterpart. Both of them yipped a few times and began to drag Wynnchel through the crowd of people, a few of the candy audience members scrambling to move out of the way.

"Ha! We're on the trail!" the éclair proclaimed proudly as he kept a tight grip on their leashes. "We got you this time, Skittles!"

Much to his dismay, the two dogs unexpectedly began fervently pulling him over in Sour Bill's direction, who was holding a clipboard with a list of things to do on it. He was paying attention to something that Taffyta was saying, wanting him to relay a complaint to the beloved king (whether or not he did anything about said complaint was another story). Hostess went wild the closer she got to the sour assistant and thus leaped herself without warning out of Wynnchel's hands.

"What the…? Hostess, noooooo!" Wynnchel cried in desperation, struggling to keep Drake at his side, but it was too late.

Sour Bill turned just in time to get clobbered by the hungry hound, falling over backwards and rolling about clumsily as Hostess licked and slobbered her tongue all over him. His jellybean hands and feet tried to push the dog off of him, turning his body so that his head could inhale some fresh air and keep the crème-like slobber from getting all over his face.

Drake got jealous of Hostess having fun so he started tugging at Wynnchel to get him to go towards the scene faster. Duncan's two dogs saw what was going on and began to do the same, hoping to get their turn at "playing ball" with the obviously distressed assistant.

"Get this…pfft…get this _thing_ off me!" he was demanding in between spitting out drool that was getting on him despite his best efforts to avoid it.

Pillsbury jerked himself out of Duncan's hands, leaving Little Dee behind, and made a beeline for Taffyta since he had a special liking for anything strawberry related. Taffyta saw the large dog coming right for her and she let out a little shriek, her lollipop flying out of her mouth, and turned to run for it but it was too late.

The cops winced and shut their eyes as Pillsbury tackled the small girl and landed on her back, licking like crazy all over her helmet and hair, his spindly feet happily trampling the child's back. She squirmed and wiggled to escape the beast on top of her and started screaming while shaking her head back and forth as if to deter the dog from licking her head anymore.

Some of the other racers were trying hard not to laugh at Taffyta's predicament, but Rancis and Candlehead moved to approach her to grab her hands but Pillsbury would only then raise his head and attempt to lick at them as well. Duncan shouted his renegade dog's name and finally grabbed a hold of his leash in order to pull him off of Taffyta, who laid there face down on the ground for a while as if to rest from her ordeal.

Around the same time, Wynnchel was fighting with Hostess to leave Sour Bill alone and wound up having to kick the NPC out of the way much like one would a soccer ball. Sour Bill shuddered and looked absolutely horrified at the idea that he nearly became dog food, persistently wiping at his face to get the drool off of him.

"Bad girl, bad girl!" Wynnchel chided, thumping Hostess lightly on the nose once he had her back by his side.

Taffyta at last picked herself up, her hair disheveled and her helmet halfway coming off of her head. Candlehead came over to try and straighten her helmet for her but her hand was blindly slapped away, Taffyta's piercing blue eyes never once leaving sight of the two cops. She slowly dusted the front of her outfit off with her hands, digging in her pocket to pull out a fresh lollipop.

"You two worthless crumbs keep those stupid animals away from me or so help me…" She pointed her lollipop at them as if it were a weapon and shook it at them in a threatening manner. "I'll tell King Candy that you _told _those dogs to attack me on purpose and he'll throw you in the Fungeon with the _glitch_!"

The idea of being in the Fungeon where they could go stale was terrifying enough…but to be put in the same cell as the _glitch_? That was an unimaginable nightmare! The cops shivered and gulped at the very idea of that event ever coming true so they grinned apologetically and muttered apologies to everyone and began dragging the hounds in the opposite direction.

* * *

The Maize Maze was exactly what it sounded like: a large walk-through maze designed from a large candy corn field. The burnt orange stalks were always bearing ripe cobs of candy corn for the picking and it wasn't uncommon to see the citizens of _Sugar Rush_ out here picking cobs for themselves. The dogs had picked up a trail about half an hour ago and this where everyone ended up. Wynnchel thought to himself that this should have been the first place they searched since it only made sense for a horse with a candy corn horn to go where other candy corn was.

"I dunno, Wynnchel, I've never been in the maze before," Duncan fretted out loud as they stood close to the entrance. "What if we all get lost in there while trying to find Skittles?"

"Now, Dunc, if the dumb kids around here can get through this thing, then _we_ shouldn't have a problem," Wynnchel stated with an air of confidence. "After all, we're _adults_."

"Yeah, that's true."

**FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER**

"Wynnchel, I think we're lost."

"Shut up."

The dogs were restlessly sniffing about in different directions to pick up the trail of Skittles, going first down one path of the maze and then another. It hadn't taken long for them to get far from the entrance but yet no closer to finding the uni-candy-corn _or_ the exit.

Duncan kept looking around at their surroundings, almost spooked that the fiery beast would appear from thin air. "I swear we've been here before though. You think we're going in circles?"

"It just _looks_ like we've been here before," Wynnchel replied firmly, though he wasn't honestly a hundred percent sure of that statement. "The whole point of being in this maze is to confuse us so just be quiet."

This did nothing to cease the foreboding sense of dread in Duncan that they _were_ indeed lost and also…

"I feel like something's watching us," he disclosed in a quiet voice, his hands getting tighter on the leashes. "What if Skittles is stalking _us_…surveying our every move…waiting to make _his_ move and scorch us alive?"

"Duncan, if I didn't have these two dogs to worry about keeping a handle on, I'd slap some sense into you." Wynnchel blew some breath out as he continued walking. "You're being paranoid. Skittles is just a dumb animal. He doesn't have the brain power to plot an attack against us."

Duncan didn't answer, trying to tell himself that he was being ridiculous and that he should be ashamed of himself for thinking so irrationally. He was one of the king's security officers; he should have better sense! Perhaps the overwhelming scent of ripe sweet candy corn was driving him crazy…not to mention a little hungry.

After a few more minutes of silence, except the occasional whine or whimper from one of the canines, a new smell entered Duncan's nose. Something fruity which was odd considering that there wasn't anything remotely fruity in this maze.

"Hey, Wynnchel, you smell that?"

"Yeah, it's called candy corn. Get a grip, will ya?"

"No, it's something else. It's-"

Hot breath fanning his back made him pause in mid-sentence and he froze in his spot. The two dogs he had a hold on jerked to a halt as well and they turned around in order to look at him and started barking their fool heads off. Wynnchel stopped to see what was going on and his jaw dropped when he saw with his own eyes what was standing behind Duncan; Hostess and Drake were now pulling against their own leashes.

"Dunc, don't be alarmed but…Skittles is standing right behind you."

Well that explained the fruity smell…his name was Skittles for a reason, after all.

"That sounds like something I _should_ be alarmed about."

"Just don't make any sudden moves," Wynnchel instructed him in a calm quiet voice.

Unfortunately, the dogs didn't pay any attention or even understand what the éclair was saying. Little Dee and Pillsbury leaped around Duncan, spinning him in the process to face where Skittles was directly behind him, and went in for the attack. Their mouths wide open they nipped at the equine's legs, and the uni-candy-corn promptly raised himself up on his hind legs and brayed loudly before forcefully bringing all his weight back down in an effort to stomp on one of his canine attackers.

This made Hostess and Drake want to join in the battle for themselves and successfully tore their leashes out of Wynnchel's hands and, like a pack of wolves, encircled their prey and barked at him. Skittles became panicked and raised his legs up one by one to avoid getting bitten, kicking his back legs out in attempts to kick them away from him.

The two cops stayed a fairly safe distance away, cheering their canine unit on. Skittles snorted, smoke coming from his nostrils, and a stream of fire erupted from his mouth. Some flames grazed Drake, lightly singeing his cake body, and he yelped in pain before growling again and grabbing a hold of one of the horse's forelegs. Skittles reared back again and threw the annoying dog off of him before bolting off further into the maze, the four dogs tearing off after him.

"Come on, Dunc, let's go after them!" Wynnchel yelled to his partner, running at his own pace in the direction the animals went in.

"How are we supposed to keep up?" Duncan called up to him, already starting to get winded as he trailed behind his partner. "And what exactly was the plan here? How are we going to get Skittles to the castle?"

"Easy! We'll just let the dogs chase him until he's too tired to run anymore and then _we_ catch him and drag him there!"

**TWENTY MINUTES LATER**

"Those stupid dogs," Wynnchel growled as he and Duncan stopped to catch their breaths, having finally made it to the maze's exit. "I can't even hear them anymore."

"Yeah, and they destroyed half the maze," Duncan added, throwing a thumb behind him towards the mess of torn stalks and crushed candy corn cobs strewn everywhere. Several spots were burnt to a crisp, the smell of charred sugar permeating the air.

"This is hopeless," Wynnchel whined getting his second wind. "At this rate, we'll _never_ get that confounded Skittles."

"Yeah, and King Candy's going to toss us in the Fungeon for sure!"

"No way am I going to let some dumb horse get the better of me." The éclair stroked his chin area to think about what to do next. He sighed and said, "Dunc, I think we might need to call for…" He grimaced before saying the next word. "Backup."

Duncan gasped in horror. "You mean…we need _help_? From…_them_?"

"Yes," Wynnchel clarified solemnly, staring off into the distance. "At this point, we're out of options. We need…the CLAWS team."

* * *

After making himself cheerful again with his chocolate chip pancakes, King Candy decided to take a little drive around the kingdom to clear his head before the race. According to Sour Bill, things should be up and running again in another hour, so everything was going swimmingly. The king hummed and bobbed his head to the invisible music that he was listening to in his head, keeping his eyes on the road at all times.

The sudden appearance of a pink uni-candy-corn streaking out across the road was the only thing that made him even think of stopping. Eyes widening, the king quickly shifted his gears and slammed on the brakes, spinning a couple of times in the process. He got control of the kart again, gripping the steering wheel in a panic, and came to a complete stop just in time to see three of the devil dogs bolt out across the road after Skittles.

The bizarre sight prompted the king to lift up his racing goggles on top of his helmet, a confused expression evident on his face, and he stood in his seat to get a better view of his future royal steed being tailed by the hounds. There wasn't any sight of his two cops anywhere which only led him to believe that they had lost track of their own pets and therefore had failed him once again. He sighed audibly and collapsed back into his seat, hanging his head back to stare up at the cotton candy clouds in order to try and forget what he just saw.

The kart's front end sank down and King Candy lifted his head back up to see the sight of the fourth dog, Little Dee, sitting on her haunches and staring right at him through the windshield with her tongue hanging out. Her breath fogged the glass a bit and she started licking feverishly at the sugary fixture. The king exhaled sharply and lowered his eyes tiredly at the dog, then propped his left elbow on top of the door before resting his cheek against his fist, his other hand drumming its fingers against the bottom rim of his steering wheel.

"You know…running a kingdom isth a lot harder than I thought it would be."


	5. Escape is Futile

_Apple: Drake is a brand of devil dog snack cakes ;) They're called, quite simply, "Drake's Devil Dogs". And the names of the CLAWS team that are used in this chapter are from donut shops around the US._

* * *

**To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn**

Duncan swallowed down the lump that had been forming in his throat ever since he and Wynnchel had approached _them_. The CLAWS team was the king's special task force that was only called out in a case of extreme emergencies. So far, the only time they had been summoned was not long after _Sugar Rush_ had been plugged in, a mere four months ago. They had been tasked with securing the resident glitch, Vanellope von Schweetz, in order to prevent her from attempting to race and cause the game to appear unstable, thereby resulting in the game in being unplugged.

They had been swift, organized, stealthy and efficient. All of those traits were exactly what was needed in a situation such as this one.

The group of large Bear Claws donuts had been engaged in a game of cards (using a deck of bubblegum cards, of course) when the two smaller security officers had approached them. Wynnchel, being the self-appointed leader of the two, had been the one to step forward and ask for help. Duncan nervously hung out a few paces behind him, waiting for their answer.

"You're asking us to help you catch a _horse_?" Big Dat, the leader of the CLAWS team, asked in an almost mocking tone as if he thought the request was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

His two colleagues next to him, Randy and Dinkel, chuckled to themselves. Wynnchel gulped but stood his ground.

"Well, see, the king's hankering to ride the fool thing and you know when he gets it in his head to have something, he's right stubborn about it," the eclair mentioned, hoping they didn't pick up on the nervous edge in his voice. A lightbulb clicked on in his head and he casually added, "You know, I bet if he knew you guys helped catch Skittles for him, he'd...oh I don't know...give you guys a _reward_ or something."

He let that thought silently soak into their doughy brains before spinning around to walk off towards Duncan. "But you don't have to help if you don't want to," he called out over his shoulder. "If it's too much _trouble_ for you gentlemen that is."

Duncan scurried up to his partner's side, giving him a baffled look. "Wynnchel, what are you doing?" he whispered, looking back towards the CLAWS trio again. "We _need_ them to help, why are we walking away!"

"Just wait," Wynnchel smiled mysteriously, still slowly moving forward.

A few more seconds went by and the sound of a throat clearing made the two officers stop and turn around fully. Big Dat had stood up from his seat and said, "Reward, huh?"

* * *

"What happens when they find out that they're not getting any reward?" Duncan asked in a nervous whisper as they watched the CLAWS team set up a trap for Skittles. "I don't really want these guys mad at us."

"I never said they _were_ getting one," Wynnchel reminded him quietly. "I said that I _bet_ he'd give them one. There's a difference."

It dawned on the round donut what Wynnchel had meant by wording things that way and his mouth spread into a grin. "Wow, Wynn, you're a genius! Ha! Those dummies are practically working for us for _nothin'!_"

"Shhh!" Wynnchel hushed him scoldingly, tapping him on the head with a fist. "You want them to catch on? Be quiet!"

Big Dat came up to them in the lumbering way that all the CLAWS members moved. "Okay, here's the plan," he began, shifting his large frame to where the two smaller cops could see. "What we have here is a flame-proof box hidden in foliage with one side left open for the target to run into."

He pointed out to where Dinkel was hiding in a tree holding a rope. "When the target runs into the box for safety, driven there by my men, Dinkel will pull that rope and close the box. I will then lock said box and we can load it into the back of our vehicle before transporting it to the castle."

"Um, how can he breathe?" Duncan asked worriedly, imagining the look on King Candy's face when he received a dead uni-candy-corn for a pet.

"Don't worry, we drilled holes at the top."

The two donuts were rather impressed at the amount of planning and stealth that would be required for this trap to work. They both seemed to know that they never could have come up with something grand like this and were secretly jealous of the CLAWS team's superior planmaking skills. However, long as King Candy was happy and didn't throw them in the Fungeon, they were perfectly fine with it.

Wynnchel nodded as he visually observed the Skittles Trap. "Very impressive, boys. But I have to ask...how are you going to get him _in_ there?"

The answer came not from Big Dat's mouth but from the sound of distant neighing. Big Dat flew into his position close to the box while Duncan and Wynnchel hid behind a chocolate-covered-strawberry bush. A few minutes later, Skittles came running up with the rest of the CLAWS team behind him, some of them jumping out of their own hiding places in order to keep him from bolting off to the side. The pink equine blew his fiery breath at them but they were prepared; flame-proof Red Hot candy shields blocked the heat from reaching their dough-like bodies and thus prevented any injury.

"I want one of those!" Duncan exclaimed with an excited point, earning a knock in the head from his partner.

Skittles danced around in a frantic circle, trying to reason his way out of this trap he was in. Fully surrounded by giant Donut Soldiers was not his idea of a good time. Randy and Mighty-O started moving forward, silently signalling to the rest of the team to do the same, which resulted in Skittles having to move with them. He roared and brayed, kicking out at the soldiers with all his might but their shields were too hardy to break through.

At last, the uni-candy-corn found himself inside the large box set out for him, having not even realized it was there due to its camouflage. Dinkel released the rope that held the door open and slammed it shut, effectively trapping Skittles inside while Big Dat ran and locked the door. Inside, the sounds of Skittles furiously ramming and kicking the walls of his enclosure could be heard.

The team cheered and congratulated each other on a job well done while Duncan and Wynnchel gave each other a high-five. The king was going to be deliciously happy! Perhaps there was still a chance of them having a special holiday in their favor after all.

"Okay, boys, let's haul him to the castle!" Big Dat ordered, waving his men to gather around.

* * *

"There doesn't seem to be anyone home."

The castle was indeed empty with the exception of the Oreo guards that permanently watched the establishment from the outside. The CLAWS team backed their truck up into the front section of the castle, then unloaded the box containing Skittles with a rather rude drop to the floor. The uni-candy-corn roared loudly and began kicking at his trap's door again.

"Well, see ya!" Big Dat saluted the two smaller donut cops as the team prepared to leave.

"Wait, you're just gonna leave us here with that thing?" Wynnchel asked, jutting a thumb to the box.

Big Dat shrugged his huge shoulders the best he could given his form. "You guys never said anything about helping get him out. Besides, he can breathe in there so he can stick around until the king shows up."

Duncan and Wynnchel were then utterly alone with the enclosed beast. "Those good for nothin' Bear Claws," Wynnchel muttered, kicking at the box with a shoe then grabbing his foot in pain.

"Where do you think his candiness is?"

Wynnchel shrugged then slapped his forehead, knocking his cap off in the process. "Oh he's probably at the race! They've probably fixed everything up by now so of course that's where he'd be!"

"Oh...makes sense," Duncan nodded. "What should we do with Skittles? We gonna keep him in there?"

"Why not?" the eclair dismissed while walking towards the front doors to exit. "He can think of it like unwrapping a gift when he opens that box."

* * *

King Candy was in first place! The Random Roster Race had finally begun not five minutes ago and he had easily sweeped into the lead...as usual. He could see Taffyta and Rancis not far behind him, not to his surprise since they were easily two of the best. He rounded the next corner of the track and spotted the floating Power Up! boxes up ahead, grinning almost maliciously as he aimed his kart to hit it. He loved getting the Sweet Seekers so he could knock those little brats out of his way. Even if he was in first place, he liked spinning his kart around and knock out the tailing competition.

Have some candy, indeed!

Out of nowhere, two of the devil dogs (Pillsbury and Hostess, but the king didn't bother learning their names) rushed out onto the track, fighting over a large gummy worm that they had dug up earlier. His eyes wide open, the king let out a loud surprised shout and quickly jerked off to the side to avoid hitting the two dogs, flying into the ravine below and crashing into some whipped cream in the process.

Taffyta and Rancis managed to successfully avoid the two canines and grabbing the Power Up! boxes for themselves. King Candy spat whipped cream from his mouth and wiped it off his face, digging himself out of the sugary mess that surrounded his kart and muttering angrily under his breath. The little marshmallow camera man floated to him and informed him that he was out of the race before floating away to follow the others.

Out of the race! All because those idiot cops of his couldn't control their own pets! This was a disgrace, a royal disgrace! The king knocked out because of some stupid dogs!

"Thosthe...dirty...rotten...filthy...ahhh!"

He flew his hands up in front of him defensively as the dogs jumped on top of him, knocking him back into the whipped cream. Pillsbury jumped into the driver's seat and started chewing on his steering wheel while Hostess began licking the sides clean. King Candy wiped his face again and huffed his way over to his kart.

"Get back!" he commanded, pushing Hostess out of the way, who only started licking _him_ instead. "Leave the kart alone!"

He tried pulling Pillsbury out of the seat but the dog only began licking all over his face. The king pulled back and coughed before growling and kicking his wheel.

"Ugh! Thisth isth the worstth...worsth..." He sighed deeply, his shoulders sagging. "Thisth isth not a good day for me. I hope thingsth end on a better note."


	6. Sweet Bonding

**To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn**

Deep down in the Fungeon, unbeknown to anyone outside of _Sugar Rush_, there lived a little girl named Vanellope von Schweetz. Covered in chains that read "glitch-proof", the candy-haired girl had been there almost as long as she could remember. _Sugar Rush_ had only been active for gameplay a mere few hours when she was seized by the CLAWS team and thrown in this cell under orders by King Candy.

Her crime? Being a "glitch". A mistake in the program. A danger to the game itself. If she were to race and actually win, the players would be able to choose her to play with, and upon seeing her "glitching" all over the screen...well, Vanellope didn't like to think about it. King Candy said that the game would be unplugged and it would be all her fault. She never liked to dwell on that, even if she could feel it in her code that she was meant to race.

Was she lonely? Of course. The only time she had company was when Sour Bill came to visit her with her meals and he didn't even talk that much. King Candy never once made an appearance because it was "beneath him" to socialize with her. The other children didn't like her either; she had tried to befriend them during the short while that she had freedom and they all shunned her, even directing the CLAWS team to her whereabouts so she could get caught.

It would be nice to have a friend...but _first_ she had to break out of here.

* * *

Wynnchel and Duncan were laughing and having an overall good time congratulating themselves on their victory. They were currently riding their motorcycles and searching out King Candy in order to tell him that his royal steed was awaiting him at the castle.

They didn't have to look too long because as soon as they came to the racetrack's starting and/or finishing line, there he was. The king was driving his kart but strangely not towards the line that would signal his win. Instead, he veered off to the side to park it in the grass.

Exchanging confused glances, the two donut cops headed over in his direction. They had to stifle giggles when they saw that he and his kart were covered in whipped cream and that Pillsbury had hitched a ride sitting in the king's lap. Hostess was sitting behind him, licking his head where some cream was still sticking to him. King Candy, a scowl present on his face, pushed his door open and shoved the devil dog off of his lap.

"Go on, beat it!" he growled as he stepped out of the vehicle himself. He glared at Hostess and barked at her in order to scare her away.

Wynnchel approached the king first, not entirely sure how he would react since he was in obviously a bad mood. "Kart trouble, your candiness?"

King Candy clenched his fists and glowered upwards at Wynnchel's face. "Trouble? TROUBLE?" He started flailing his arms in wild gestures, his whole face turning red with fury. "I wasth going to WIN, do you hear me? WIN! And thosthe dumb dogsth RUINED me!"

Duncan wisely hung back while their king went into his tirade. Wynnchel put on a nervous smile and started backing up from him, holding his hands in front of him defensively, as King Candy started angrily progressing towards him while he yelled.

"You two dough-for-brainsth have done nothing but made a complete mockery of me all day! You AND thosthe dogsth! If I don't get good newsth sthoon, I'm going to-"

"We caught Skittles, sir!" Duncan decided to intervene before the king could issue a threat.

King Candy stopped in mid-sentence, his mouth still hanging open and his finger frozen while pointing an angry finger at Wynnchel. He blinked and relaxed, lacing his fingers together in front of him and smiling brightly.

"Hoohoo, you did?" he exclaimed happily, jumping up in the air a bit and letting his shoes jingle. "Why didn't you sthay stho?"

Wynnchel relaxed once the king stopped being so angry. "So, you're not mad at us anymore?"

The monarch looked surprised, even holding a hand over his heart. "MAD?" He waved his arms out dismissively as if that was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. "No, I wasth only keeping you on your toesth with all that! You two are tur-...terrific!" He forced a large grin and giggled some more.

Duncan grinned, glad that the king was in a good mood now. "Yeah, we left him in a fire-proof box in the castle for ya."

"Hoohoo, good thinking you two," King Candy commended them, tapping his noggin with a finger. "Well, what are we waiting for? Esthcort me back home so I can sthee him!"

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

The latch that was holding the door shut on Skittles' box had come loose from all the kicking that the equine was doing. At last, the latch fell off, successfully allowing for Skittles' next kick to open the door and allow him to escape. He bolted out, neighing furiously and blowing fire all around him, his hairs standing on end and his muscles tense in case there was immediate danger.

There was no one around so he let his guard a little. He had never been in an enclosed area before, having always been wild and free, so this new environment was quite perplexing and a hint frightening as well. He sniffed at the walls and licked at it before trotting down the length of the corridor until he reached where the throne would be if the king's kart were parked in its normal spot. He sniffed around and his nose pressed a button on the wall that opened up into a different corridor.

He spooked, whinnying while backing up a few paces, but realized that nothing was going to hurt him. He decided to go exploring in the corridor, instinctively trying to find a way to get outside. After about five minutes, he found himself facing a large door blocking his path. Upset that this wasn't the way out, he roared and engulfed the door in flames, melting it entirely to the floor.

* * *

Vanellope had been napping on the hard slab that was her bed when she heard the strange noises coming from outside her door. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes while the chains around her clinked and clanked. Right before her eyes, she suddenly saw _flames_ coming from her door which now appeared to melting.

Her large hazel eyes grew even wider than they normally were and she naturally backed herself up, only for the chains to stop her and hold her in place. Had King Candy grown tired of her presence and ordered someone to set her cell on fire with her inside? Being a glitch, she was not sure if she would regenerate upon dying so the idea of going through a "game over" so early in her life frightened her.

She shut her eyes and prayed to whatever arcade gods there might be (she didn't know of any but it wouldn't help to try) that her life either be spared or that she would regenerate like everyone else if she _were_ to die. After a few moments, she heard some strange noises again and she dared to peek one eye open...then she opened _both _of them wide, unable to believe what she was seeing.

A large pink horse with a candy corn stuck to his head was staring right at her with an identical surprised expression. He snorted and trampled the rest of the door down into a melted mush beneath his feet, his ears folded back as he leaned his head inside the cell to sniff.

Vanellope allowed a small grin at seeing the large animal, realizing that he was confused on where he was. "Hey there, big guy," she said softly, holding her little hands out. "What are you doing in King Candy's castle? Did he lock you up too? Do you not belong anywhere either?"

Skittles snorted, not sure if he should trust this little person since so many people had been chasing him around all day, but she smelled like vanilla and was talking quietly. Plus, she looked like the other children that were present in _Sugar Rush_ so he relaxed. He crept forward and sniffed her open hands, blowing hot breath on them but not catching them on fire and then licked her, nickering softly.

Vanellope giggled and rubbed a hand on his nose. "You're just a big sweet baby, huh?" An idea struck her. "Hey, what do you say we both get out of here? We can leave the game together and have adventures and be best friends!" She jingled her chains a little bit. "But I might need a little help getting outta here...what ya say?"

* * *

_And thanks to everyone that voted on my poll! Sour Bill won, which I had expected, with half the votes (out of 32). Check out my profile for the new poll, on which version of Turbo you like better!_


	7. Catch Me if You Can!

**To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn**

Wynnchel and Duncan were giddy with excitement as they flanked the king's kart going towards the castle. All the trouble they'd been through was all going to be worth it once King Candy officially possessed Skittles as his royal steed. They imagined a parade in their honor, with them in the front of the line with confetti and candy being thrown at them by adoring fans, the racers driving slowly behind them in a line honking their horns. King Candy would declare a national holiday in their name. The ladies would swoon all over them.

The king was beaming brightly as he drove in between his security officers, eager to receive his gift-wrapped stallion. Perhaps he could integrate the animal into the code to where he was an unlockable bonus feature, the player able to choose to "drive" the horse rather than a kart and using his flame-breath as a power up to burn the other racers' karts. He could just picture those little brats' vehicles melting right from underneath them as they drove! Of course, this all depended on how fast Skittles could run and also on how easy he could be tamed to ride safely.

In the timespan of approximately ten seconds, however, none of these things mattered; because in that ten seconds that it took for King Candy and company to visualize the front doors of the castle and for the Oreo Guards to open them, two things became very clear.

One: Skittles was no longer trapped in his fire-proof box, but rather was standing there front and center with a very angry gleam in his eyes and smoke coming out of his nose.

Two: The glitch was also no longer trapped in her own private prison cell; instead, she was riding atop of the royal steed hanging on to his long black mane.

It was like slow-motion for a while. King Candy stood in his seat, removing his racing goggles and sliding them to the top of his helmet, his jaw dropped and his eyes wide in shock. Wynnchel and Duncan did a similar motion with their sunglasses, Duncan raising a hand up to wordlessly point at the duo in front of them. Vanellope had a look of momentary panic etched on her face, clenching her hand tighter into her new friend's mane. The king lowered his brows and his mouth came up so that he could grit his teeth together and give off a general expression of peeved anger. The guards moved in to point their spears at the escapees.

Before anybody could say anything, the quiet tension was suddenly dropped. Skittles raised his upper half into the air and gave off a rather ferocious sound and then slammed his legs back down towards the gathering group of guards, who all scattered away in fright, their spears dropping to the ground with a soft _clang_! Skittles blew his fiery breath in multiple directions, singeing a few of the Oreo Guards who then began trying to pat the flames off of their cookie bodies.

"THE GLITCH ISTH ON MY PONY!" the outraged monarch was screaming, pointing heatedly towards the front doors where Skittles bolted from and running past everyone, galloping down the stretch of road that led to the castle. The guards had fallen down as the stallion had rushed by, struggling to pick themselves up. Duncan and Wynnchel were both still in a state of stunned shock to do anything at all, their eyes still fixated on the impending disaster in front of them.

King Candy was clenching his fists and bouncing up and down like a furious toddler in need of a nap. "YOU FOOLSTH! YOU'RE LETTING THEM ESTHCAPE!"

This snapped the two donuts out of their trance and they quickly tried to turn their motorcycles around in a half-circle, only for their front ends to collide with either side of the king's kart. His majesty was jolted by the unexpected collision and he fell clumsily into his seat, glaring upwards at his two security officers as they bent over to peer down at him.

"Gosh, your candiness, we're sorry!" Duncan blurted out as he backed his bike up away from the kart.

"Yeah, we're awful sorry!" Wynnchel copied as he did the same thing, the both of them now able to turn around completely.

The king's face was so red that it was a surprise that it didn't go exploding off of his body. He bounced himself up and adjusted his crown, shrieking, "BRING ME VANELLOPE AND THAT PONY BACK OR STHO HELP ME I'LL THROW YOU IN THE BAKERY OVEN AND OVERCOOK THE BOTH OF YOU!"

Both cops gulped; getting overcooked was the only thing worse than going stale!

"Roger that, chief!" Wynnchel spat out as he led the chase for Vanellope and Skittles, Duncan following close behind.

King Candy huffed and puffed as he watched them go down the road, then hopped out of his kart to inspect the damage. Both doors were sunken in now and he angrily kicked a wheel. "Hopefully, Beard Papa won't mind a little extra work."

* * *

Taffyta Muttonfudge was cruising along after winning first place in the Random Roster Race earlier...but not before rubbing her victory into everyone's faces. Oh well, they'd get over like they always did! She couldn't help if she was the best racer, after King Candy of course. She wanted to feel about him getting tossed from the race after wrecking like that, but she couldn't find enough sympathy in her rotten cavity core to really care about anything else besides her own success.

Out of nowhere, running straight across the road just a few yards ahead of her, was what appeared to be the glitch riding on top of a uni-candy-corn. The sight was so bizarre that Taffyta screamed in a high-pitched voice and swerved to miss crashing into them. The glitch? No one had seen her since her capture by the CLAWS team several months ago! What was she doing?!

Taffyta's kart spun out and she jerked to a choppy halt and stared in wonder as not only Vanellope rode Skittles down the track, but also Duncan and Wynnchel...who had come barreling out of the same spot Vanellope had a minute ago. Their sirens blaring, they took off after the mismatched duo, not even bothering to check if Taffyta was all right.

Knowing good and well that no one would be able to hear her, she still cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "GLITCH! YOU BETTER NOT GET US UNPLUGGED WITH YOUR STUPID SHENANIGANS! I'M WARNING YOU!"

She crossed her arms and huffed to herself. "That show-off Vanellope. Thinks she's so special because she has a horse. What does she think she's gonna do, _race_ with it?"

* * *

"Woohoo! Ride like the wind, Pinky!"

Despite the circumstances, Vanellope was immensely enjoying her stint outside of the Fungeon. The wind in her face as Skittles loped down the track was the closest thing to an adrenaline rush that she'd had in her entire existence. She wasn't sure if they were going as fast as a kart, but she could easily imagine herself racing down this track with the wind in her face just like she was now. Glitch or no glitch, she knew right then and there that she had been created with the purpose of being a racer.

Unfortunately, she wasn't sure how that dream was going to ever be achieved if she was getting hunted down like a criminal. Not to mention, she didn't exactly like the idea of being the downfall of her entire game. She was conflicted now on whether she should ride Skittles out of the game and forge a new life for herself or stay here in Sugar Rush and attempt racing. After all, she hadn't really ever had enough time to even _try_ getting into a race before.

Dwelling on all these things made her nervous and excited at the same time which, sadly, caused her glitching to act up. She had been shackled with glitch-proof chains for so long that she had almost forgotten that she could dissipate into a shower of pixels. Her excitement caused her code to spazz and before she knew it, she was no longer riding atop of Skittles. The feeling was so familiar yet so strange at the same time, having not done it in so long.

Vanellope had randomly glitched herself right off of her pony friend and landed somewhere to the side of the track, fortunately unharmed since usually the glitching provided a soft fall. She looked ahead of her with a despondent expression as Skittles ran off without her, the girl feeling tears come to her eyes as she realized that she'd just lost the first and only friend she'd ever had.

Her sadness was short-lived when she heard sirens coming up behind her and she quickly made herself hide behind a pile of jawbreaker rocks, waiting until Duncan and Wynnchel had passed by before she popped back up.

"Maybe I _should_ leave the game for a while, just until the heat dies down," she mumbled to herself as she chose to put some distance between herself and the track, but not too far away to where she could still somewhat follow it towards the game's entrance. "Make a new life for myself, get some experience with society. Make some friends that can help me out. _Then_ I can come back, make a kart and earn my spot on the roster."

She pounded a determined fist in her hand. "I'll show them that being a glitch doesn't mean squat when it comes to racing. They'll see!"

* * *

_I was originally going to wrap things up here, but it started getting a little long. So one more chapter guys! :D_


	8. Going Going Gone

**To Catch a Uni-Candy-Corn**

Skittles had only one idea in mind: Get away from those irritating cops.

The fact that his pint-sized passenger had accidentally abandoned ship never crossed his mind. He flew past the all-too-familiar candy cane forest and across the starting line of Sugar Rush Speedway before heading upwards towards the Rainbow Road that would ultimately lead to Game Central Station.

Wynnchel caught sight of the crazed equine and nearly had a stroke when he saw where Skittles was heading. "Duncan!" he yelled over the sound of their engines. "We have to stop that horse before he gets in the Station!"

With steely eyes glued ahead, the duo raced after their quarry all the while wishing that the CLAWS team was somewhere within their reach so they could ask for their assistance. If Skittles and the glitch both managed to successfully leave _Sugar Rush_, the king would probably go so far as to eat their overcooked remains for breakfast!

Just as they had feared, Skittles wasted no time exiting Rainbow Road and stampeding himself down the dark, electrical tunnel. Wynnchel bared his teeth and leaned forward more on his motorcycle, pressing his foot down as hard as he could on his accelerator. His partner followed suit, the two of them gallantly heading forth into unknown territory. The darkness of the tunnel was a stark contrast to the bright, colorful nature of their home and it chilled them to the filling; it was enough for them to remove their sunglasses completely and hold them while hanging onto their bike handles. They could hear the clip-clop sounds of Skittles' hooves beating against the tunnel, getting further away by the second.

"Faster, Dunc!" the eclair called out over the roar of the motorcycle engines, which were amplified in the constricted space they were in.

Skittles came into view after a few minutes, the sight of his long black tail flying almost straight out behind him. Wynnchel squinted his eyes and yelled out, "I don't see the glitch! Do you?"

Duncan peered forward and called back, "No! You think she fell off?"

"I didn't see her or else we would've run her over!" A lightbulb clicked on in Wynnchel's head. "That means she's still in the game somewhere!"

"Oh no! What should we do? Split up?"

"Are you crazy? We can't handle anything by ourselves!"

The only reason their conversation ended was because of the faint glow of light that could be seen at the end of the tunnel. Wynnchel knew that Game Central Station was close now and he gripped his bike's handles harder, determined to not let Skittles get away. After all the trouble they'd gone through to get him to the castle, there was no way he was escaping!

"Almost got ya, you stupid horse," Wynnchel muttered with a sly grin as he focused himself on getting closer to the uni-candy-corn.

The light from the GCS was getting brighter now. The eclair knew he didn't have much time before Skittles was lost to them forever.

"Hey, Wynn, how are we supposed to catch him?" Duncan suddenly inquired. "We didn't bring any supplies!"

Wynnchel groaned as he realized that his partner was in fact correct. "Why didn't you bring anything?!"

Duncan would have protested this vehemently but instead he slammed on his brakes. "Look out!"

His friend looked straight ahead and gasped in horror, slamming on his own brakes and skidding himself into the wall of the tunnel where he fell over on his side. He cut the engine and painfully straightened himself up as Duncan came up to him. They both stared out ahead, not too terribly far from their portal, as they saw Skittles trot himself out of _Sugar Rush_ for good. (He even got past the Surge Protector, who was too busy questioning Wreck-It Ralph to bother with anything else.)

Duncan began to hyperventilate, his hands shaking as he held them out in front of him. "I...I can't believe it! All that work we did and now he's gone! Just like _that_!"

Wynnchel sighed and wiped his forehead. "Well we can't go out in the Station, you know. It'll be certain death for us. We can only assume that Skittles will soon perish as well."

Duncan sniffed and put a hand over where his heart would be. "Yeah...poor Skittles...if we hadn't been chasing him, he never would've ran straight to his doom."

"Gee, thanks for making me feel like a crumb." The tall chocolate eclair cleared his throat and went to work at picking up his bike. "But King Candy said that we would all die if we left the game; our bodies require us to breathe in sugar particles to survive, and if we wander out into the outside then...I hate to imagine the painful death we would suffer."

Duncan shuddered at the though. "Yeah, I'm not in the mood to die. Of course, his candiness is going to kill us since we lost his royal steed anyway."

"Well, guess we can always hunt down the glitch anyway. _That_ should make him happy."

"Yeah...let's get out of here, I'm already feeling faint from not breathing right," Duncan confessed to his partner.

_And so it was that Skittles died in Game Central Station due to lack of sugar particles in the air to keep him alive...at least that's what everyone thinks. Actually, he came across Gauntlet Legends and became a secret unofficial pet to the main characters. He fit right in with the fantasy theme.  
_

Vanellope had finally walked herself all the way to where the entrance-slash-exit to _Sugar Rush_ was. Exhausted, she rested a bit on a patch of lollipop grass and let herself daydream about the wonderful adventures she'd have, all the new friends she would make. Life would peachier than a bag full of peach rings!

After her legs were rested, Vanellope plucked herself up and finished out her journey. Each step she took on the Rainbow Road was like one step closer to her freedom. Away from bullies, cops, King Candy, the Fungeon, puny meals, etc. Upon reaching the very top, she turned around and took a look at the breathtaking landscape spread out before her.

With a smirk and a mock salute, she yelled out loud, "So long, _SOUR Rush_! I might be leaving you right now but one day I'll be back to conquer you! I'll prove that I'm more than just a 'glitch' or a 'mistake'! And I'll be the best racer this side of Litwak's! You'll see!"

Vanellope nodded in self-satisfaction once she had finished stating her claim, then spun on her heel and proudly marched herself towards her new destination...and promptly stopped.

Not out of her own free will, mind you, she stopped because she literally could not go anywhere. A strange warbling sound filled her ears and she felt as though a thick liquid-plastic type material was blocking her from going forward even though she could see _nothing_. With a perplexed look about her, she tried again.

Same thing.

A nauseating type of fear and hopelessness filled her senses, but she swallowed thickly and pressed her hands out in front of her. Her hands couldn't even pass through the portal. Something was preventing her from leaving. Vanellope slowly backed away, her hands shaking as she stared at them in wide-eyed horror.

"No," she whispered raggedly as realization dawned on her. "I...I can't leave?"

Her eyes took in the gaping hole that had moments before served as her ticket to a better life...but now it served as a mocking reminder to her that her glitch status was much more limiting than she had ever thought. All her plans...ruined. Never to be fulfilled. She was destined to be alone in this cruel sugary nightmare for the rest of her life, just because the developers had screwed up her coding and deemed her unworthy to be part of the actual game.

Anger welled up inside of her, her fragile emotional state causing her to haphazardly burst into an array of blue pixels, and she screamed as loud as she could before throwing herself at the invisible wall preventing her exit. Her fists pounded on it uselessly and she glitched about in a random pattern while she tried to force herself through.

"_It's not fair! It's not fair! I don't want to be here anymore! I hate this place! I hate it! I hate it!"_

"There she is! The glitch!"

The sudden intrusive voice of...one of the donut cops...snapped Vanellope out of her tantrum. Without even thinking about it, she stumbled backwards as she saw the lights from the motorcycles heading towards her. No, she couldn't...she _wouldn't_ go back in that Fungeon! Never again!

Her terror and panic made her pixels go into an excited state again and before she knew what was happening, she had glitched herself right over the edge of Rainbow Road. Screaming shrilly, her glitchy self wound up being her savior because she had a surprisingly nice soft landing a few feet away from where she normally would have fallen.

She examined herself and looked up to see the two donut cops staring down at her. Not wasting any time, little Vanellope von Schweetz took off running. She glitched most of the time but luckily it didn't impede her; instead, she actually went _faster_...and completely out of her trackers' sight.

_Eventually, she came across Diet Cola Mountain, where she at last allowed herself to rest. Leaning a hand against one part of the volcano, she involuntarily glitched again and wound up inside...and found the perfect hideout where she lived in secret for many years.  
_

* * *

Duncan and Wynnchel had both gasped when they saw the girl fall off the edge, the two of them diving off of their bikes in a humorous attempt to see if they could catch her at the last minute but of course they did not. They blinked as they saw her glitch-run away from Rainbow Road altogether and completely out of sight. The cops scrambled to get back on their bikes, determined not to let _both_ of their escapees get away. The king would be most upset if _that_ happened!

"Hey, Dunc, did you notice something odd earlier with the glitch?" Wynnchel asked as they drove in the same direction they had seen Vanellope run off in. "She was having trouble leaving the game."

"Yeah I noticed that...why you think that is?"

Wynnchel appeared thoughtful and concluded, "Maybe since she's a glitch, that means she _can't_ leave. Maybe the game doesn't recognize her as a real character so therefore it won't let her leave, you know, like _we_ can."

The revelation bore its way into Duncan. "Yeah...so that means if we don't catch her, we can always try again tomorrow, right?" He coughed a laugh and added, "I mean, it's not like she's _going_ anywhere!"

"Yeah, you're right!" Wynnchel felt relief at not having to worry about finding Vanellope right away. At the same time, he dreaded telling the king that Skittles had escaped _Sugar Rush_ altogether. "Well, guess we better tell him the news then, huh? Hopefully he doesn't carry out any of his threats."

* * *

King Candy had his hands folded behind his back as he surveyed the work that Beard Papa had done to his kart, scrutinizing every detail to make sure it was as perfect as it had been originally. Sour Bill yawned as he stood back, covering his mouth with one of his floating jellybean hands. Beard Papa was already asleep, reclined back in his chair that he sat in while watching surveillance videos of the Go-Kart Bakery. The king gave the man a sideways look of indifference, wondering briefly why the person in charge of keeping the Bakery safe from ne'er-do-wells was a borderline narcoleptic.

He was about to ask Sour Bill to hop in the kart so he could transport them back home, but the sound of approaching motorcycles prompted him to stay put. He perked up and waited attentively for his two officers to arrive to where he could see them, hoping that they had successfully captured both Skittles and Vanellope. His face fell into that of a scowl when he saw them arrive alone.

Throwing his hands up in an impatient gesture, he said, "_WELL? _Where _are _they?"

Duncan coughed to the side. "Um...you see, sir..._you_ tell 'im, Wynnchel!"

The king shot the eclair a dirty look at the same time Wynnchel was giving Duncan one. "Wynnchel, you mind exthplaining why you two showed up here empty-handed?"

Wynnchel fiddled with the handles on his bike a bit before swallowing and saying, "Well, your highness, the thing is...um, that is, what I need to tell you is-"

"Skittles died!" Duncan interrupted loudly, then held his hands against his mouth. "Sorry, didn't mean to shout."

King Candy issued a dumbfounded stare in their general direction before crinkling his eyes up and giggling nervously. "D-dead? Hoo, what do you mean? You, you can't _die_ in your own game!"

Wynnchel sighed and held his head down the best he could given his shape. "That's just it, sir...Skittles left _Sugar Rush_. He's _gone_."

"What?" The diminutive monarch started to silently clap his hands together slowly in an antsy sort of way, a forced grin on his face as he tried not to lose his temper. "Gone? And...why didn't you...go _after_ him?"

The two cops looked stunned at the question, even exchanging glances. "Sir, you know we can't leave the game!" Duncan exclaimed. "You said that if we left, we would die from the lack of sugar in the air!"

The king's eye twitched a bit at hearing that (at the same time wondering why he ever told everyone that lie just to keep them from leaving) and he slowly turned towards Sour Bill, who only droned out, "You _did_ say that, your majesty."

"I...but...I...hoo...but...but..." King Candy started babbling unintelligible nonsense mixed in with a few crazy laughs. He shook himself and cleared his throat, tugging at his collar with one finger. "What about the glitch? Did _she_ leave asth well?"

Wynnchel laughed and waved an arm out in a dismissive fashion. "Nah, she couldn't even leave the game! It was like some barrier thing was preventing her from even entering the tunnel out of here!"

The king pondered on that for a brief second before his mouth turned up at the corners into an eerily gleeful expression, jumping up in the air and purposely shaking his shoes to make the bells jingle. "Hoohoohahahahahoo! She...she can't _leave?" _He burst into gales of laughter, having to hold his stomach with his hands. "That...that'sth rich! Oh, that'sth _perfect_! Hahahahoohahaha!"

After wiping a tear from his eye, and ignoring the odd looks he was getting, he let his laughter die down into chuckles and he held out his hands. "Stho, did you put her back in the Fungeon when you caught her?"

"Oh, we didn't catch her."

Whatever joyful mood King Candy had been in was suddenly erased. His glowing smile was replaced quickly by a deep angry frown, his fists clenching at his sides. "_WHAT?"_

"Yeah, we figured that since she can't leave the game, that we had all the time in the world to catch her!" Wynnchel explained to him with a dopey smile. "This game isn't _that_ big, it shouldn't take too long with the CLAWS team's help."_  
_

_Both_ of King Candy's eyes twitched upon hearing this absurd reasoning, and his hands began to flex themselves almost like he was holding a pair of invisible stress balls. His entire face slowly turned a deep shade of red and then eventually purple, the veins in his eyes looking about ready to pop and his jaw clenched so tight that it's a miracle he didn't wind up cracking his teeth.

"You...haha...you...let...her go?" He asked as if he couldn't believe his ears...and he couldn't. His facial expressions went back and forth from being amused at the insanity around him to being irate. "You...you...hoohoo...glitch isth...free..."

Sour Bill casually came a little closer to him and uttered, "Remember your blood pressure, sir."

The inhuman scream that erupted forth from King Candy's mouth was enough to make everyone jump back a few steps, Sour Bill included. Beard Papa, who had stayed asleep through all this, shouted at the sudden noise and fell out of his chair.

King Candy stormed his way to Duncan and Wynnchel, who were both staring at him like he had lost his mind. "You...you _fools_!" Uh-oh, he was forcefully saying his "trouble words" again. That meant he was_ really_ mad! "You have any idea what you've _done_! Do you not recall _why_ she wasth locked up to begin with!" He began bouncing up and down angrily, dust flying every time he landed. "She'sth the one _person_ that can get our game unplugged!"

Shaking and breathing heavily, King Candy pointed a finger at the two cops and motioned for them to lean down to his level. They exchanged glances but the unwillingly did so. The king removed one of his racing gloves and first slapped Wynnchel across the face with it and then Duncan, and they both reeled back with a hand pressed to their cheek.

"BRING THAT GLITCH BACK RIGHT NOW OR I'LL GUT YOUR FILLING AND PUT IT ON MY _TOAST_ EVERY MORNING!"

Wynnchel and Duncan wasted no time at all hopping back on their bikes to high-tail it out of there...not necessarily to try and find Vanellope, but really just to escape the wrath of their king.

"Does this mean we're not going to get our own holiday?"

"Shut up, Duncan."

* * *

The king huffed and fumed to himself, muttering random things under his breath that Sour Bill either didn't understand or pretended not to hear. After King Candy had calmed down a bit, the dour assistant came up to him and informed him,

"Sir, this might not be a good time, but I meant to tell you earlier that the CLAWS team was asking about when they were going to get a reward." He paused a second then decided to add, "For helping catch Skittles."

The king jolted and his brows furrowed together and he gripped the top edge of his kart's door, staring down towards the floor mat. "Re...hoo...re_ward_? They want a...I never sthaid...what..."

All four of the devil dogs showed up at that time, having finally rejoined each other, and each of them was holding a piece of broken candy cane in their mouths, wagging their bottom ends and whining for King Candy to play fetch with them. The king busted out in a maniacal laugh, complete with a maniacal grin to match it. "I need a vacation! Hoohoo, I'm going to die from stressth! HA! Hoo...hoohoo..."

_Duncan and Wynnchel never did catch Vanellope...and King Candy didn't die from stress...though the donuts never had to worry about him fulfilling any of his threats because...well, let's just say the king caught a bug._

**_The__ End_**

* * *

_All right, that's a wrap! Thanks to everyone who put up with this random little story of mine. And apparently I cannot just write a straight humor fic, I just HAD to add in a touch of Vanellope angst in there, didn't I? But then again, anything involving pre-movie Vanellope is bound to be sad so it couldn't be helped. Also, now you know why Skittles wasn't shown in the movie ;) (maybe he'll be in the sequel *fingers crossed*) Thanks again to everyone who reviewed, fave'd and followed this! :)_


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